The Power of Being a Good Observer
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Wayne W. Dyer. American self-help author and motivational speaker.
Observing: The Art of Attention
To observe means to carefully examine something, and to achieve this, one must be present. We decide what we observe and also what we ignore. Depending on psychological, social, and cultural factors, people focus their attention on what may seem most interesting to them. Humans choose where and what to direct their attention to, and what not to.
When we observe, we gather information that may be new or that helps us complement previous knowledge. What is observed is as important as what is done with that information.
To be an observer, one does not need to go to a laboratory to view samples under a microscope. Nor do we need a telescope to discover what is happening in the sky. Observing is a task that can be carried out in everyday life. This is well understood by economist and therapist Esperanza Puentes, with whom I have discussed the importance of being observant. For the therapist, it is crucial to observe what happens outside, in our surroundings, and what happens within us, so that we can see the useful side of each event, of each situation, which generates greater benefits for us.
One of the reflections we discussed during our
conversation refers to what the therapist calls “the coconut analogy.” One day,
Puentes was preparing some snacks for the guests at one of her talks. On that
occasion, the chosen fruit was the coconut due to its nutritional properties.
Mechanically, she opened the coconut, placed the shell to one side and the
meat on the other, just as anyone would automatically do.
Lessons from the Coconut
Just like with a coconut, in daily life, we discard what doesn't serve us for growth - the shell. On the other hand, we keep the meat, which is the nutritious component, what benefits us and nurtures us.
For the therapist, the coconut’s hard shell could be associated with negative situations in life: a boss who doesn’t appreciate you, a child who isn’t diligent, a neighbour who is difficult, a family member going through a tough time, heavy traffic, etc. The shell represents all the daily experiences that lead us to emotional states that are hard to manage. So, if we focus our attention on the shell- that is, on the difficult, on what doesn’t contribute -without realising it, we end up chewing on the shell, holding onto what brings no value to our personal growth. These things exist, but how we perceive and manages them makes all the difference.
On the other hand, we must also recognise that to enjoy the meat, we have to break the shell, and doing so is not always easy. In the process of breaking the shell, one can get hurt and cut, but this experience must be lived through in order to enjoy the benefits of the fruit.
Likewise, without the shell, there is no meat- or in this case, no coconut. The meat of this fruit provides us with energy, has both cosmetic and antibacterial properties, and is a satisfying food ideal for controlling hunger. For the therapist, the meat can be associated with positive factors that nourish and strengthen us. Thus, we need to see the good in situations, seek new opportunities, find new solutions, and manage them. Great challenges provide us with great contributions in life.
Moreover, the coconut also provides us with water, which is very hydrating and could be associated with additional opportunities that present themselves when we manage to achieve a difficult task.
We can learn a lot from fruits. In contrast to the coconut’s structure is the mango, a tropical fruit that is quite appealing visually and also highly desired in both culinary and cosmetic industries. Inspired by the teachings of therapist Puentes, here is my reflection on the mango.
Lessons from the Mango
The mango is usually consumed as fresh fruit, and accessing its pulp is very straightforward, just like in everyday life when we engage in routine activities that don’t present much of a challenge.
Most people use the pulp and throw away the stone or seed because they see it as something useless, simply because they are unaware of its beneficial properties. There are things we don’t use, but just because we don’t utilise them doesn’t mean they aren’t useful or valuable.
By analogy, the mango seed could represent the challenges one has to face to achieve a goal. Some tasks are easy at the beginning, but as they progress, the level of difficulty increases, and to achieve results, one has to work harder, be patient, and persist.
If one gives up, it’s like throwing the mango seed away, not realising that from there, a new plant can grow, which will provide us with many more fruits. If we look at things more deeply, today mango seeds are used to create cosmetic products and various medicinal extracts, which could be associated with the opportunities that can arise when we don’t give up or get distracted along the way.
Besides the flesh and the seed, there is also the mango’s peel, which has a rather distinct taste, making it less appealing for some people. I usually use it to decorate the table or as a container for serving salads and desserts. Just like coconut water, the mango peel could represent additional opportunities that one might find when focused on achieving their goals.
Everyday life is a great teacher, and if we pay attention to the ordinary, we can learn a great deal. I invite all my readers to share their reflections and analogies to enrich others.
Bibliography:
· Primicia. (n.d.). Beneficios de consumir la pepa de mango. Primicia. Available at: https://primicia.com.ve/especiales/yerberito/beneficios-de-consumir-la-pepa-de-mango/
· Redalyc. (n.d.). Estudio sobre los beneficios del mango. Redalyc. Available at: https://www.redalyc.org/journal/4765/476557508009/html/
· Elías, R. (n.d.). El poder de la observación. Ricardo Elías Blog. Available at: https://ricardoelias.com/blog/el-poder-de-la-observacion
· Marca. (2022). Propiedades del coco y sus beneficios. Marca Bienestar. Available at: https://www.marca.com/bienestar/2022/11/07/63442bfd268e3e76688b45bc.html
· La Vanguardia. (2023). Fruta de coco: propiedades y beneficios. La Vanguardia Comer. Available at: https://www.lavanguardia.com/comer/materia-prima/20231104/4893/fruta-coco-propiedades-beneficios-valor-nutricional.html
· El País. (2023). Qué le pasa al cuerpo si se toma agua de hojas de mango todos los días. El País Salud. Available at: https://www.elpais.com.co/salud/que-le-pasa-al-cuerpo-si-se-toma-agua-de-hojas-de-mango-todos-los-dias-1545.html
· Puentes. E. (2023). Video sobre la metáfora del coco.Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOKyeVoP1N8
