Redoing the puzzle of your life
The word cancer is very strong and has negative connotations because in general, it is directly associated with death. Unfortunately, there are no manuals that show you how to cope with a cancer diagnosis. Most people who are diagnosed with this disease focus on their treatment and once they are cured, the trauma of having faced cancer is so deep that they “close the book” and immediately start a new one with a view to living life with greater intensity.
I was always afraid of the word cancer. As a child I did not like to belong to that zodiac start. However, life assigns each person a kind of quota of different illnesses that one must deal with, whether we like it or not, and one must draw strength from where one does not have it to get ahead.
I had to deal with breast cancer. As The Princess of Wales, Kate Middleton expressed in her speech, the diagnosis of cancer is received with great surprise, and it takes time to digest the news. Echoing the words of Her Royal Highness, I also want to tell people who are facing this disease not to lose faith and hope. In this article I would like to briefly share some things that I kept in mind while dealing with the diagnosis and treatment.
Stay positive:
Cancer arrives to you without a permission and disturbs not only your life but that of your family. When facing a cancer diagnosis, a person’s emotions go up and down like a roller coaster. Thinking that everything will turn out well in the end, allows you to fill yourself with enough energy for when your spirits get low. At the same time, positive thinking strengthens the defences that are necessary so that the body can respond to treatment more effectively. Thinking positively allows you to calm down and see light at the end of the tunnel. Being positive also facilitates communication with family members who are as concerned as you are and creates a more relaxing family atmosphere.
Surround yourself with good friends:
People who lend you a shoulder to cry on are important because they allow you to vent your negative emotions. A good friend not only cries with you, but also knows how to listen prudently and makes you realise about things that you are not able to see. In my case, my friends frequently rang me to talk about everyday things and invited me out to distract me. This helped me a lot and made me realise that with cancer or without cancer, life continued and I had to carry on living, facing my new reality.
Keep the news in private:
Talking about a cancer diagnosis is difficult for both the person who suffers from it and the person who learns the news. It must be taken into account that the patient has to deal with their own emotions and also with the emotions of others, so it is better to keep the news within a small circle of close friends and family. Without thinking about it, people can make reckless comments and say things that are hurtful. Personally, I had to keep the news private because when I shared it, I felt that some people were looking at me with pity and some started crying, so I felt like if I was being buried alive. This didn’t help me a lot, on the contrary, it caused me a lot of anxiety.
Discuss the disease and treatment only with medical staff:
Each type of cancer is unique, and the treatment depends on various circumstances. The only person versed in the subject is the oncologist and this consultant analyses your medical records and exam results available to him and makes the best decisions based on it. Given this, asking for advice from people who are unaware of your circumstances can cause confusion. Cancer creates uncertainty so sometimes it is good to know about people who have been cured and the treatment they have followed, however, other times this type of information may not be useful. Asking for information here and there increases worry levels and causes confusion because each person speaks from their own experience and their circumstances may be different from what you are experiencing.
Get busy:
Instead of tormenting, you should get busy and do productive things. This will help you to feel that you are a valuable and useful person. Worring is not going to change reality, on the contrary, it is going to take away your energy and you will need that to cope with the treatment. After the operation, the radiotherapy and chemotherapy processes are strong and exhausting, so the energy must be channelled appropriately. As much as possible, you should stay busy, whether working in a company, being self-employed, or doing chores at home. It helped me a lot to continue working. Following the same routine helped me keep my feet on the ground and to focus my thoughts on everyday life. By being busy, I did not have the time to speculate about the future, which in fact is uncertain not only for the cancer patients but for everyone.
Maintain a healthy diet:
Facing both the diagnosis and treatment of cancer is extremely exhausting. When I found out about the diagnosis, I did not feel like eating. Chemotherapy can affect appetite too. My oncologist advised me to review my diet and so I did, I started eating foods rich in antioxidants to ensure my diet was balanced and I managed to achieve this. The body must be given the appropriate nutrients so that it can function optimally. Furthermore, taste must be trained so that it learns to enjoy new flavours and textures.
Take care of your personal appearance:
Facing cancer is draining and tires the person both mentally and physically. Almost always the person loses weight and if there is chemotherapy, the hair is generally lost, not only the hair on your head but all the hair on the body. Under these circumstances, looking at yourself in the mirror can be unpleasant and discouraging because you see yourself diminished. It helped me a lot to put on makeup, combine my clothes well, and use a delicious perfume. Going out dressed up certainly improved my mood.
Writing:
Dealing with mixed feelings of both; hope and uncertainty is difficult, because some days you are in good spirits while others you are not. Talking to others about this can be challenging because you don't know how people will react. There are people who listen to you, however, there are others who avoid the topic, and if these people are family members one can feel ignored and even isolated. The best allies for me were definitely a pen and a piece of paper. There I could vent without any reservation. Writing is restorative and cleanses the soul. Paper holds everything and keeps secrets forever.
Rest:
When I found out about the diagnosis I couldn't sleep. I was worried about my little children and thinking about an uncertain future. A friend gave me lavender oil so I could put a few drops on my pillow. The fresh and delicious smell helped me relax and this in turn allowed me to sleep better. Both chemotherapy and radiotherapy cause a lot of fatigue and sleeping well helps the body recover. It helped me a lot to drink chamomile, lavender and valerian tea. In fact, now a days, before going to bed I always drink an infusion.
Pray:
My biggest advice for dealing with cancer is to pray. Prayer strengthens the soul and the spirit. It makes the weight of carrying everything that comes with illness feel lighter. In the Scriptures there are verses that comfort you, I reviewed these two on daily bases:
· “He who trusts in the Lord will not be disappointed.”
· “Look, I command you to be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or dismayed, for Yahweh your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Keeping my eyes on God increased my strength and thinking that His company was unconditional strengthened my spirit, especially in the moments when I had to wait for some medical results.
The treatment generates physical and mental changes. For a long time, I felt slow and sometimes clumsy in completing some tasks. Through prayer I realized that His rod and His staff comforted as the psalmist so well said.
The Statista website indicates that one in five inhabitants of the planet will suffer from cancer at some point in their lives. It is estimated that more than 30 million people will be affected by this disease in 2040, and 16 million could lose their lives. The positive thing about these statistics is that in the next five years, global investment in cancer treatment and prevention will grow by 73%, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). So cancer is here to stay and we have to learn to deal with it in the best way possible.
In my book “A Woman of Fire” I documented and tell my story of fighting cancer. The book can be found on Amazon. Click here to find it.
